From the creators
this is an anonymous
we find amusing
and somewhat heartening.
Stuff that make Samsara more beararble... unfortunately?
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Erased a friend's number in my handphone.
The next time she messaged,
Lovers in their own world
Must the togetherness of their hands,
With not enough common experiences by two parties in any relationship,
it is easy to drift apart. Especially when one party
grows tremendously, experentially with a
"third" party. Thus, it is not physical attachment
that truly binds two to form a fruitful relationship- it is the ability
to learn and grow together spiritually.
If a janitor lives in
a shabby storeroom in a condominium, he does not truly live in a condo.
Likewise, if sex is defined as entry and ejaculation of sperm by the
penis into the vagina, then sex with a condom on is not really sex
as it is the entry of the the condom into the vagina more than that of the penis or
sperm- as neither comes into contact with the vagina at all. This
is parellel to the janitor never really coming into "contact"
with the luxuries of condominium living. Is virginity thus preserved
when a virgin has intercourse with a condom on? Or perhaps I'm trying
to illustrate an anti-puritan perspective on the absurdity of virginity.
Sad things about love-
I like the darkest shade
This PDA is an excuse to not mingle, but look occupied and purposeful,
as I key in this very line. Haha. Just as I think I'm being smart, I'm socially pathetic! At
least, in this case! Haha.
Z: We don't have to push him anymore for this matter.
i dun like the limbo feeling i have today...
zL: Say something intelligent leh... or else
i will slip into coma soon, sigh
"Gaze long into the abyss, and the abyss gazes into you."
Being in limbo is okay
y did chicken
cross the rd?
y did turkey
cross the rd?
Relieved that we r not mere mirrors to
i dunno why i
zL: i like smiling at u. haha
Nothing is a pity or wasted as long as we learn...
zL: Tired, so tired.
zL: Bugging you...nice weather!
A perfect love is not to have and to hold forever,
Thank you for your perfect love.
zL: i knew i was
'diff' when i was abt
Z: did she yak abt me after seeing me?
No one is a Da4De2 (Great Merited One) here... not me or anyone...
at least not to me... so u never hear me using that term for anyone,
be in in jest or otherwise- in case it swells anyone's ego. But
of course, it is the non-Buddha who sees others as non-Buddhas. Like
SuDongBo back then, i'm clearly
a piece of "shit" myself.
So, dear colleagues, Do you see yourselves as a piece of "shit" too? i sincerely sincerely sincerely hope so... or there is no hope for you to wipe the shit that clouds the Buddha-nature in yourself... unless you don't need to, unless u are a DeDe in disguise.
I miss you everyday
Only after meeting you
Do u like
my writing or me?
Unreconcilable double standards
Dictionary.com Word of the Day for Monday April 14, 2003
This is "Synthe-Tme-sis", is
Lunchtime is here.
Haha! I also know haiku.
"Something I learnt from a funeral...
-SMS from Ana
zL: ... Fear that I am leaving them behind...
zL: Had a sudden fear just now. Not sure why... like I am the odd one
Who is imprisoned?
The prisoner is free
Who is the sex slave?
"All our final resolutions are made in a state of mind which
is not going to last." -Anthropology and a Hundred Other Stories
Out to sea,
I am not prone to sea-sickness- though sometimes the feeling of existential
Standing in the wind and the rain,
The sky is a boundless canvas of endlessly morphing abstract art.
zL: What do you love? Her long eye lashes? Her sharp
nose? Her high cheekbones? Her soft lips? Or your idea of her?
For what she appears to be depends on what you are fond of?
I don't know how to treasure those who don't treasure me.
A pregnant pause...
Sometimes we forget
Sometimes it's just a natural silence,
zL: on bed typing
I don't like to wear shades because I don't like to hide my eyes
from the world. I don't wish to see the world in tainted colours
either- I want to see it in its true light, glaring or not. :-]
Zeph: u can send these glamour shots to your frens
hehe. am i
a good photographer?
Zeph: Keep re-reading these blogs for what?
A line from "Vanessa Bell" in "The Hours"- "Your aunt (Virginia Woolf) is a very lucky woman, Angelica! She is because she has two lives. She has the life, she is leading and also the books, she is writing."
My comment- "I think I am a lucky guy- I have multiple lives-
yet I can reconcile all happily."
Irony is... when you are spammed a ad mail on an anti-spam software..
No insight in this piece. i
just booked a 3 hour slot in an Internet cafe from to . Blogging
backlogged blogs while plugging in to Coldplay on my PDA. And Lyrica is
reading my blogs live! It feels great
:-] It's a kind of retreat for me- no work... just pure entertainment
and enlightenment of sorts...
Why must we a weave a story at all? Fragments of sporadic thoughts
and feelings will be left as they are- with and/or without analysis.
Some things left without analysis is wisdom already. yet
some things must be contemplated upon for wisdom to arise. If the
reader can weave a story, good. If not, too
bad... but not too bad- as each item you read here is self contained,
makes sense in itself.
There is no perfect love as long as we do not love perfectly.
I fell in love once.
The falling felt more emotional.
Love to Love
Y: Do we fall in love with being loved?
Starving on the train- feeling physical and mental hollowness- yet
a freedom- from navy (just finished annual reservist training), from
A perfect love is not to have and to hold forever-
Y: Eating now, but it's all so tasteless... like life.
Y: Yesterday is in the book of history...
Y: Are you complicating the complex?
Z: You are one of the most beautiful persons I know.
Y: I still think you don't dare to look at me.
You seemed a little restless.
It was probably me...
S to Y: You better be as naughty in person as you are online!
S: I like to snap pictures of stuff "glowing" in the dark.
S: I like to snap everyday scenes that look abstract- confounds the viewer.
Y: We preceive the world through the reflections
Zeph: Warning- some of my art works are very dark- though not sadistic.
Zeph: Hey! Read Sophie's World too! But before that, was already philosophy
inclined- but discovered the Buddha is the most
brilliant- who, with all due respect, cuts the crap. Reading
philosophy and psychology always gives me a kick because it reaffirms
the genius of the Buddha in comparison haha
I got introduction books to Aristotle, Plato, Russell, Darwin, Jung,
Freud, Satre, Kant, Wittgenstein, Lacan,
Descartes... There is merit in their works,
but just not perfect.
Yah: So you straight or not? hehe
Yi: If my identity can be protected, I am free to circulate my online
Zeph: We must write!
Zeph: "What the hell are we doing HERE, doing what the hell we are
Yah: Siao! (Crazy!)
Performing the Perfunctory
Z: Visiting for Chinese New Year... stuck at Grandma's boring place.
Zeph: Newsflash- Friday Girl (She loves Fridays!) escapes Monday blues
(she loathes them!) by skipping straight to Wednesday! (Due to Chinese
New Year holidays)
(A case of almost miscommunication? Or was it all in jest? Well, that's the limit of words spoken, written,
Everywhere you go, silent your mind.
S: Whew! Writing is tough! I'm my worst critic.
One day later...
Sophie: Didn't realise my watch was slowing
Zeph to Sophie: Unlike you, I don't think I am good at writing novels;
I do episodal snippets of my adventures
and inspired thoughts. Afterall, the interesting
stuff in life usually happen in unconsecutive
episodes. But then again, a novel IS a string of interesting episodes.
Maybe I lack stamina in extending a single thread of thought.
It's Hard Not To Look
Adshel has a new series of two outdoor ads with the tagline- "It's
Hard Not to Look." The two ads feature a blown up picture of
a man's open fly revealing red underwear and a blown up smile with
a wedge of vegetable stuck on the teeth. (Not the pic
above) Is this a good example of a modern day self-fulfilling prophecy?
I agree that the ads are witty, catchy and original, but let's just
say "It's impossible not to look at what you are looking at."
Haha. You get what I'm trying to say?
We must write or in some way express and leave our thoughts for a
better future- like a legacy. Sometimes the spoken word and deeds
done are just not record enough. To be passed down for the good of
both this and future generations- the lessons you learnt from your
life- the essence of your life- like a personal sutra for all to see.
San: New year days always make me a bit pensive.
San: Bad day. Simple things keep going wrong. Sigh!
San: I'm in no mood for you to take me on a guilt trip!
On the way to meet you,
Here's my very own blog term and how it
can be used...
In a light-darkened tour coach speeding away in the still of the
night on the way to
S: Just saw my friend and her kid on the way to work. Sigh!
S: Sigh! The interesting guy in the next dept shifted upstairs to
the 3rd floor.
Zeph: Dumping tips in sequence-
Origin of Romance Stories
Here is, especially to the romantics, my very "unromantic"
theory of the universal origin of romance stories. I sum it up in
one word- Miscommunication! It's true- just
look at all the make-and-break kiss-and-make-up stories and you will
see this common factor underlying them. Miscommunication in romances
come in the guises of the lovers playing guessing games, in which
both parties lose- due to assumption about each other's thoughts and
feelings, instead of having frank open comunication.
In the "sadly ever-after" stories, the tragic ending usually
comes in the form of one party losing the other, suffering due to
attachment to love lost. Now... let's be sober... and not romantise
suffering! That's what keeps us bound in Samsara!
Eva: One use for a boyfriend-
for a good snuggly hug on a bad day.
Sophie sent a cheque to pay back Zeph for a payment he made on her behalf...
Zeph: Hey! No fair- I don't
get to pass by my bank usually.
The above reminds me of
a line by Zen teacher Cheri Huber,
Eve: Hope you are not
upset with me sending you the sms - Go Away!
Not that Eve is crazy,
but the problem with us is that we insist we do not have "multi-personality
disorder" ("schizophrenia" sounds too serious) and
hang on to a particular "self", thinking it is more real
than others. The truth is there is no truly lasting self at all. Aren't
we all guilty of occasionally saying "Oh...
I wasn't being myself yesterday..."
Imagine you have infinite wishes as to how the world will be and describe instantly NOW, be it a verbal or written description, without hesitation and cancellation, as to your wishes which will lead to the creation of your ideal world. Describe your present desires, both the sacred and profanne (or as we say in Buddhism, the pure and defiled). Be as detailed as possible and do not stop till 10 minutes are up. Do not be pretentious by descibing Bodhisattva vows if they do not really apply- spill all your guts and demons. You can prioritise your desires at the end of the exercise. This exercise benefits yourself more than anyone else- it is about being frank to yourself. If you are uncomfortable doing this before someone, do it alone. But I strongly suggest you to do it before those closed to you, and to get them to do the same. This is especially effective for fostering self-discovery and mutual-understanding. After the description, make resolutions with deadlines (openly before each other if in a group) as to how you are going to fulfill what you really want.
Here is my description-
1. I wish all my family
and friends, and all beings wellness and happiness to cultivate the
Dharma to a non-retrogressible state within
I'm glad to say 1-5 are
already somewhat underway in fulfilment
to some extent- but I should put in more effort in actualising
them. I realise 6. is
silly- it is like wanting a "nirvana of the highest samsaric
nature"- which is oxymoronic and impossible. I'm not even talking
about tantric sex, which has to be lustless
anyway! I should relinquish this ignorant desire through more meditation.
Thankfully, I know this is possible as I have experienced the ebbing
of desire in meditation before. I just need to put in more effort
to rid unwholesome thought habits once and for all.
Zeph: If it is really "bo
pian" (Hokkien dialect for "no other way"), then it's bo pian
I used to say this- For
the worldly person, good sex might be the closest to a spiritual "high"
that he or she might ever get. I think it's sad. In the many higher
heavenly planes- even sex gets less and less gross and more and more
refined. But the final refinement is the relinquishment of desire
altogether. So if we really want to get high, let's go for the highest
"high"! (I don't mean seek birth in the heavens- seek Nirvana!)
As I look back at my life
so far, it is amazing that I cannot pinpoint a single beautiful thing,
or face... which has so much beauty in it that it sticks indefinitely
and hauntingly in my mind. That is, other than some magnificent Buddha
images! Ask me to recall the most beautiful face, for instance, and
my mental image is a blur. Samsara and Samsarans
(my newly created word which means "inhabitants of Samsara"-
beings of this cyclic world of life and death) are only beautiful
in fleeting instances. I do not lament that not a face sticks- I'm
thankful instead. It is when not a single face sticks, that we can
see beauty in itself in all other faces, without comparison, without
judgement. Incidentally, the last image
that sticks in your mind as you die is usually an image or face of
your most beloved. May it be the Buddha... if any! But even if so,
without attachment please!
around the computer in anticipation of some surprise email that makes
my day. Sometimes even to the
extent of hitting the Send-&-Receive button now and then while
surfing, while waiting for webpages to download,
despite the email already set at the auto check-by-the-minute mode.
This is the delaying of happiness, which might never come. Pathetic....
snap out of it! What is worse than wanting something is
wanting something that might not come. I call it gambling for
happiness. In letting go of this wanting here and now, I already win
happiness without gambling. With the advent of the Internet, Samsara
seems do much easier to dive deep into. It can so readily be the convenient
door to a whole universe of external stimuli of the senses.
The thing about listening
to your heart is tricky- you have to listen real hard... to truly
hear it. (Take it metaphorically please! Not stethoscopically!)
You have to be wise and honest as far as you can in the moment. Sometimes
your hear something that sounds vaguely like your heart, but it's
your delusion whispering, beckoning. The funny thing is even when
do not follow your heart, you are actually following your heart- following
a weak heart which wasn't strong enough to make itself heard.
I retreated recently... I retreated from a retreat a few days. Okay, was playing with words... I left a retreat early. Was uncomfortable with the meditation method and have no regrets leaving it. I can't exactly say if it is a right or wrong decision as yet. But I'm comfortable with my decision for now. Happiness in life is about making decisions that you know you will be comfortable with now and in the future. But that's the ideal- sometimes present discomfort reaps the real happiness in future. Yes you heard it all before- no pain no gain.
"Here's the tricky
thing about life- life is a tricky thing." -Stonepeace
Sometimes I am not sure
if I admire fellow bloggers who seem to
have so much happening in their lives... I refer to their ups and
downs and all. Look at the efforts spent in inserting little animated
emoticons displaying their moods and all. It's a love-hate relationship
with life I guess. A strange kind of attachment, a strangelove
it is- our love hate relationship with Samsara
and the characters in it. It is this Strangelove (ahhh...
one of my favourite Depeche Mode classics-
with lyrics oh so apt to what I'm trying to say here- http://archives.depechemode.com/lyrics/songs/strangelove.html)
that keeps us bound (physically and mentally), yet excited. It's a
BDSM thing I think- Strangelove- the lyrics and life for many folks.
By the time I finish writing this... I have lost my uncertainty (see
first line)- I am sure we'll all get sick
of it all in good time- this the healthy "lure" of Nirvana.
In this sense, I am sure I do not admire the fellow bloggers
as mentioned. No hard feelings :-]
Comments on having received spoof movie posters of Stitch as the hero in them-
It's funny that you think
I'll like this- but you're right haha. Stitch
is the new anti-hero of Disney world after the Beast in "Beauty
and the Beast"- the real heroes are always anti-heroes- like
the Buddha. (I define an anti-hero as someone who is a true hero though
he has no intention of being one.)
S: I hate Mondays. What
a letdown after the weekend. Very sian
(feeling ennui) ah!!!
S: I want to thank you
for your friendship. I was just talking to my good friend and she
said something that I thought would apply to you as well. She said
I could call her anytime of the day if I ever needed help. And I want
to thank you for that. I think in our daily joking around I don't
have much chance to say that :> Much appreciated by your taciturn
Well... no record book-
but this web haha.
Z: I have a hunch I'm
your second best friend. You are one of my three second best friends!
S: You actually think
through your photos!
Z: By the way, I bought
"The Little Prince" for you.
run. It's getting late and I have done nothing....
Z: I've got it- I AM mature
beyond my years- thats
why I find older girls more interesting! haha
Z: Silent for more than
24 hrs. May Sophie the meowster (cat-lover
and frequent SMS-ter) be well and happy.
Sophie: Have you ever
had your palm read before? Do you have a career line? I was wondering
if Dhama work is a career. :p
SMS message to Sophie
prior to departure for the
Either I return more enlightened
Sophie: You modest?
If you want to tell me
that the stars are not words,
Sophie: Hmm... dun understand :p
Sophie: Haha. Just realised
that I look quite cool when I don't smile.
It's been fun but gotta run!