30/04 Projection : Existence

It has been a while since I last blogged. Can't really place my existence all this while. Well, if there's any real existence at all. I guess existence only exists when we have them labelled and constantly reviewed as memories, “Ohh, I did this last summer, and that last winter.”
I can't really recall my past much, not that I don't treasure it. I guess am just not too bothered by it. I had the usual ups and downs. As a matter of fact, they're endless, so to speak. The rise and fall of moments of bliss & sufferings - just too many.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy every second of my life very much. I'm still very into this big orchestra that plays the bittersweet symphony. Symphony No.20-something now, clear and crisp. I do feel the rythmn is much calmer now.

So does existence have any meaning?

In the Diamond Sutra, the Buddha taught, All conditioned dharmas are like a dream, an illusion, a bubble or a shadow, like dew or like a lightning flash.

Like a dream... We might be having the sweetest dream ever now - beautiful spouse, cute kids, nice house. OR, a terrible nightmare — being ill, ugly, homeless, and penniless. We might in one of the scenerios above, but one are truely substantial as be it good or bad, it will not last.

Like an illusion... Imagine walking in the desert for days without food or water. Out of the blue, you see an oasis in the distance. With all your might, you run towards it, only to exhaust your remaining energy, finding no oasis but a mirage. The oasis respresents our supposed goal of our existence. We pursue it with all our means, only to realise it is a mirage, which exists only because we thought it does. In truth, our existence isn't as concrete as we think, but rather unsubstantial, subject to ever-fluxing changes.

Like a bubble... Recent natural disasters like the Asian tsunamis are excellent examples of how fragilely bubbly our existence is. Like a bubble, our existence can burst any time.

Like a shadow... How much do we notice our shadows? Not much, because they're rather insignificant? Anyway, shadows only exist when the conditions are right. Likewise is our existence conditioned - we are all closely and interdependently-linked to each other. We are, like what Brad Pitt's character philosophised in Fight Club, not a beautiful and unique snowflake. We are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.

Like dew... Small is it, existing only when the conditions are right. Nonetheless, it easily disappears when the conditions are gone.

Like a lightning flash... Ever caught a glimpse of lightning flashing in the sky? Now, that is our existence... ethereal, a flash in the pan, gone in the blink of an eye.

I feel that the meaning of our existence is often overly-emphasised in terms of self. We give ourselves so much self-worth that we have unknowingly become more greedy, more hateful and more deluded. If we could focus less on ourselves and help each other instead, there would be no need for us to look for the meaning of existence. It would naturally present itself to us. Since meaning only makes sense when we relate ourselves to others, what can be more meaningful than bring happiness to others?

Buddhists believe in non-self (the truth of the non-existence of a fixed self), and that existence is a projection of the mind playing tricks, fooling us into believing we are substantial beings leading a life, an existence. Some might wonder why should we avoid evil and do good, since everything is just a mind-choreographed show? At the end of days, things are nothing more than a good or bad dream. Well, the thing is, if we are not going to work ourselves out of this situation that we are in now, we will forever be struck in Samsara, pursuing the unsubstantial, unwittingly tormenting or amusing ourselves in every moment. Just how do one reckon we are going to end this cycle, to realise the truth? By avoiding evil and do good, we are working towards purifying our mind too. When the mind is pure, everything else is pure and meaningful.

Existence, to me, is like a wound cut that we constantly get, unmindfully self-inflicted onto us by us. Pain comes, pain goes, and pain comes again. The only way to get out this mind-trap is to break out of the cycle of birth and death, by cultivating and perfecting the Noble Eightfold Path.

Namo Amituofo!